A bug out bag is a medium to large backpack, usually with a fr
The Absolute BARE BONES Minimum:
- Lighters, Fuck matches, fuck flint and steel. Go to the store and buy a package of five Bic lighters. The chances of you having to live in the woods (assuming you run away) for more than a couple weeks without running into an abandoned store or house is extremely slim.
- Notebooks/Writing Stuff, You'll need to build a fire and you'll need to do math, make maps, write stuff down, also why not leave a record?
- Space Blanket, Not only can it be used as a blanket it can be used as insulation in a lean-to or snow shelter, used as a tarp, awning, groundsheet, or even a signalling device. A small section cut and properly folded and tied it can be used as a fishing lure.
- Small Jar Candles, These will allow you to A) put light where you want, B) Keep a flame going in wind, C) Cover up your nasty B.O. if you have company, D) the melted candle wax can be dripped onto paper to be made into 'paraffin firestarters', E) Once the candle is used upm melt the rest of the wax wash out the jar and you have a nice "herb jar" or miniature drinking glass.
- Isopropyl Alcohol, It's not drinkable but you'll need it if you scrape your leg running or escaping. It can also be used to start a fire, and if you need to sterilize anything it does it in a hurry and a pinch.
- Liquid Soap and Hand Sanitizer, KEEP FUCKING CLEAN OR YOU WILL GET SICK AND DIE.
- Mess Kit, A dutch oven, a frying pan, and a small stew pot, all made of durable and light aluminum or steel. Doubles as a bowl, plate, and mixing bowl. Do I really need to say why you need this? (Boiling water dumbass...)
- Silverware, At the VERY LEAST you will need a Paring knife, Utility knife, sharpening stone, Two forks, two sharp knives, and two spoons, a Can Opener and a Corkscrew. If you're asking why you're too dumb to live.
- Instant Ramen and Boullion Cubes, Yes I know Ramen is crap, but it will keep you alive, it doesn't need to be cold, and it's quick to make. Pack at least four. An entire jar of boullion ischeap, you can toss in local vegetation and if you find fish you can make soup. Also Even if you're starving broth is better than nothing.
- 3 Sets of Clothing, You Will smell like ass after four days in the woods, You will wake up soaked from dew or early rain, you will fall into a stream or river. Try to wear clothes for at least three days, regardless of whether or not you bathe.
- Sleeping Bag, Keep warm or die. If you're shivering while wrapped in your sleeping bag with a fire going don't fall asleep or you will fucking DIE. Eat something, sing songs, take a short walk around the camp site, DO NOT Fall Asleep.
Coming Soon, Pt 2/3
If you Happen to think of it....
My mind goes to dark places sometimes, sometimes I keep the darkest ones from others.
I can't take my mind off broken dreams, our broken hearts, my ragged cough.
the saddest landscape is one without her shadow in my sight.
I can't sleep without dreaming of her, I can't lay down without remembering.
I can't sit happy while I'm so fucking lonely.
Nostalgia fills my nose, it's dust and perfumes long since gone.
Feeling that hole in my heart, taking yet another "last" shot
I forgot what it felt like to have my misery fall apart.
No more hunger to distract, no money to stretch or tear up
No new scars or missing pieces of my heart.
I want to tear my throat to start, then create some suicidal art.
Because unless I'm starving, or hurting, or burning
Or feeling my tears running, carving rivers on skin
I can finally think about what state I'm in.
My head is ecstatic, my soul is ripping, my heart is crying.
I'm just a miserable artist.
I just miss her spark in it.
And when I have nothing to worry about, and everything's working out
That's when I rant, rave, and shout, about how I won't possibly be saved.
I'll be forgotten, and abandonded, like last night's dreams
Can someone please tell me what the fuck it means
When nothing is wrong, that I just fucking scream
"I will be alone, and have been all along.
That's why I scream til I'm coughing blood and carry on."
When my last friend has said good bye
I'll shed tears, yeah, I'll finally cry
I'll walk down an empty street
And realize all I have is me
The freeing feeling is so very fleeting
I'll roll a joint, buy a 40, and drink publicly
Just hoping for a minute
Someone will ask to sit with me
And I'll try not to be hoping
That they'll one day be sitting and drinking
Under that same tree with me
Recalling just how they stumbled into me.
"Meanwhile, on the lunatic fringe, The Melty Bird has risen from the ashes once again to put out a CD highlighting songs of their explosively short career. Remixing is being finished up and will possibly be done by the weeks end, then work begins on the cover art and inserts. It will be released the end of march on No Commercial Value Records, a brand new label ba
EVERYONE PLEASE GO TO BULL MOOSE WHEN THEY ARE RELEASED! IT DOESN"T SOUND LIKE YOU"RE LISTENING TO IT FROM SIX ROOMS AWAY ANYMORE. Some of the songs are pretty good too.
Pamphlets are for pussies, nobody wants to read, especially when they won't agree, They don't want to wrap their heads around, Anything truly bound, We see nothing,. that we don't believe, acting only when it's life impacting.
Narrow minds, know no lies, Narrow minds, know no lines, They think that they have life figured out, Narrow minds, think life is fine, Narrow minds, they have lives, they think they have nothing at stake
Force is all they know, peace rally? They won't go, they have better things to do, and they won't care, until they've got placards, and hearts on their sleeves, that's the only the time that they believe
Print is dead man, getwith the times, everything will be just fine, just three clicks and you're through, it's all now ones and zeroes, Your life and Your history, you don't care what life brings, as long as it's just on tv...
"I Want to Dream Forever"
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Sometimes I get so frustrated I just want to scream, punch walls, and bawl. My life is okay but it could be so much better and it could be so much worse. I'm furious as hell because my sort of gf basically came two inches away from fucking some other girl. We basically have an open relationship because we live so far away but when she nearly fucks someone that lives one town away from me I want to fucking scream. I can't help but feel like my territory has been invaded and it makes me want to smash the girl's face in and yell at my psuedo gf.
It's a fucked up relationship, she gets mad at me when I'm jealous but she then states she'd be just as jealous in my situation. It makes me want to scream. That's basically what this post is about, I'm trapped in my house because of the snow, she's out with someone and I'm climbing the god damn walls because I'm furious and out of cigarettes. 4PSUO;IBVFOSUSUSUSUwbvoF6 VJL ZS/KPZSBH;I/ Odd what you get when you pound on the keyboard while yelling in your head...
Another black mood is upon me, another new moon, another stupid poem, a splash of tears blurring ink, another night full of self pity and spite, life is beautiful, but pain is getting to me, the agony of being so fucking lonely, callused fingers and raw throat, strings thrumming from no love or hope, it's beautiful, to me the pain of living is sweet, addicted to drinking and forgetting, I have too many bad memories, I have too many percieved enemies, I wonder if this is my choice and why I scream until I have no voice.
Same shit different day. It's my fucking life. Nothing changes but location. I'm making an effort to reach out to people and be nicer. I've been such a bitter bitch for a long time, it's time for a change, but it takes time. People still skip out on me, ignore my calls, and texts, or even messages left through e-mail and voicemail. Is it so hard to tell me "no sorry, I can't see you." or "look I don't really want to hang out with you."? I wish people were more honest. I also wish that the hungry were fed, the naked clothed, the sick cured, and the homeless housed. Wishes mean nothing but a desire. They serve no constructive purpose.
My friends Sara, Keith and Alyssa are great. My pseudo-girlfriend Tiffany is amazing and I like her so much but I'm afraid of losing her. I wouldn't lose one of them for fifty friends. Yet I somehow feel cheated. I constantly get the rug pulled out from under me, and I'm constantly standing back up only to get knocked back down. I still get back up everytime. Sometimes it's out of anger, sometimes it's lust, other times it's because lying in a heap is uncomfortable.
I'm sick of sitting on the porch, the front step, or in the garage. my phone in a pocket. waiting for someone to text or call me back. It just hangs heavy, I've got nowhere to go. Ever. I have no job, no car and no money in the bank. I stay up til sunrise some nights just because it gives me something to do. Burning cigarettes and drinking, waiting for a call that doesn't come. Alone, cold, and hopeful things will change.
My heart is full of hopes and doubts, much like my predictions for next year. To quote a song "sixty watts brighter than my future, an empty forty fuller than my life, maybe I'm right, maybe there's no such thing as a brighter side." I used to be so much less lonely. I tried therapy, I didn't get much out of it except a vague resignation about my feelings. All I have is my family that doesn't understand me, and friends that I hardly get to see. Mainly I'm just glad that I get to see them at all. If I didn't I'd be truly lonely and I may do something desperate again. I used to scare everyone with my behavior. I don't want to be hopeless again, because that's when I have nothing to lose and even the worst options seem wrapped in gold and silver.
To put it mildly, I have first world problems. I try to be thankful for what I have, I try to be positive, I even try to be friendly. I've been doing well lately. It's just the holidays are the worst for me. An entire three months of togetherness, love, and being with loved ones. I fucking hate it, but only because it feels so forced and empty for me. I have no money for gifts and no car to see my friends and apologize for being a broke bum this year. I just am scared to fucking death that one day, I'll be all alone and have forgotten what it's like to have someone there for you.
That's all from the saddest girl to ever hold a martini, more rambling self-pity and useless moping the next time I fall apart. I'm guessing valentine's day.
Well after my mom told me she would take me and my sister out shopping and we'd have a girls day, I as per usual was left asleep in bed while they just disappeared. I wouldn't be so upset about it but she said she wanted the three of us to spend some time together and I just am sick of her making promises and then forgetting them. Whenever my sister comes around my mother seems to forget that I exist. She talks to me even less than normal and it bothers me.
I shouldn't feel bad because I'm broke I have no money to buy anything but I would have at least liked the option to refuse to go. I just feel like I'm passed over but I try to forget it. It's hard when my sister is here though. It just kind of reminds me that I'll never have the same relationship the two fo them do. I guess I'm just jealous
Raise your glass, let's give a toast, to old friends and forgotten ghosts, we ran ragged around the scene, hoping to find out what this means, everything is breaking down, the liqour store is closing down, and the wind is the only sound, because we're the only ones around
It's still so cold, I know, I feel a glow in my soul, I didn't know I had a chance, I'm sick of fucking side effects, let's bundle up and gather round, cigarettes and brown bottles running out
This year's almost gone, I wrote about a dozen songs, and I'm not sure just what is best, blurred vision and a crooked stance, downing pills and breathing smoke, It's a wonder that we don't choke, and we all used to run this scene, some people thought we were mean, when we used to heckle and scream, but we were never kings or queens, we just helped to build the scene
Grab a beer and pass the joint, the kids all have no point, the music's now a dirty sham, there' no venues left in the land, I guess they forgot about the kids, the Land Before Time is sorely missed, Ten thousand bands that they didn't know, they never came out to the shows, too focused on clothes, 7" records and demos
We said "DIY is all you need!" and gave them all two free 'zines, they never picked up the pen, or let our words in their heads, Now they ask us what went wrong, we shout "You were here all along! We were out renting halls, tagging walls, and making calls, searching for a new home that we could call our own, Participation made the scene, do you get what I mean? We just did what we had to, and never got a single thank you....FUCK YOU!
-----------> This song is about all those little kids who go to shows just to socialize and who couldn't care less about the music. It's also because when we had to hand off the punk rock torch there was no one there to take it in my town. If there is no committed group of people making things happen, nothing ever will. DIY or Die!
The smoke floats up and away, I'm wasting the day, I wonder too much anyway, just why my life's so grey, I'm ripping down the blinds, Let everyone inside, the freak doesn't want to hide
I'm split into three, doesn't matter much to me, the droning of the flies, drowns out the sighs, There's nothing left to hide, Let everyone inside, Let everyone inside, the skeletons look snide
I painted my life all over the walls, my work is scattered in the hall, empty fifths and old butts, My work's only evidence, gaining courage slowly, to finally cross the line.
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I don't want my mistakes pointed out to me, there's only one person I have to blame, She looks at me every morning through dirty glass, I see her face in the bottom of my cup, her eyes are proud and hurt, I've forgotten what she looks like when she smiles, black streaks flowing down her face, she's tired of hiding just to save face, she barely speaks above a whisper, because she's used to so much grief, she's a failure, a loser, a drunk, and a bum, she almost never gets to have any fun, she's stuck thinking of all the choices she didn't take, I'm sick of seeing her tear stained face, I've never heard her laugh, but I hear her cry, she never knows what to do, she can never see anything through, probably because she never knew how to, she's there all day and through the night, we get into awful fights, even when I'm crying and screaming like a four year old child, she never leaves my side, and I know she's there even when I close my eyes, because it's me that she lives inside.
(with apologies to the late great Kurt Vonnegut)
I can hear the wind, I know it's blowing cold, I had no idea I'd live to be 23 years old, I am tired of chill winds and a silent din, the rumble I feel everytime our eyes meet, I know you can feel it too, but we can't ever speak, of this again, it's pipe dreams we've erased and hidden,
It's all within, black lungs, scarred throats, and a liver that's turning to concrete, sidewalk stories, empty forties, marked my final paycheck, and I'm, tired of chewing, on my nails and my skin, I no longer wonder why, I'm so fucked up inside, it's just the reflection of the world in my eyes, rapsy screams, agonizing melodies, I'm letting out my pain, one note at a time,
I still call you, just to talk, and I, still give a fuck, and I still remember how we met, but I, can't miss you, anymore, you finally, bricked up the door, so why, should I, be satisfied, to have you ripped from me, and why, should I, not want to cry,
Everytime I think of your eyes...
This is tongue in cheek. Actually it's pretty much just tongue, don't get offended.
If you remember when Hamburgers were bought by the bag, you remember FAST food.
1. Don't Be So Damn Rude
I get that you're in a rush but if you treated me a little nicer I'd be in more of a mood to make sure you get everything. If you've been at the order speaker for longer than two minutes trying to decide what you want you should have come in. It is for this same reason I will never understand why people who have never been to a particular fast food place go through the drive through. If it's ten thirty at night okay that's the exception but when it's lunchtime and people have jobs to get back to please have the courtesy of coming inside, unless you know EXACTLY what you want. If there's eight cars in line behind you don't PLEASE DON'T take five minutes to order. Oh and if you're on the phone talking to someone about what they want pull around finish the call then order it don't waste my time by having to listen to your idiotic conversations.
Rude customers grind down good employees, I've seen it!
2. BE SPECIFIC ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT!!!
If you go to mcdonald's and ask for a cheeseburger without onions, expect it without onions. If you don't specify you won't get what you want. I can't tell you how many times I had to re-ring an order or add two or three items because people didn't think to ask if a Taco or burrito normally has sour cream or if we offer soft tacos. If you aren't sure what's in something ASK. ON THAT NOTE, if you insist on having me dissect half the menu for over four minutes before ordering only two things don't be surprised when I don't have a smile on my face and am in a hurry to get rid of you. It's called fast food.
It's no longer called Taco Bell It's called Taco Hell.
3. DON"T Ask for extra Cheese, food, or other items free of charge.
I understand that you think you're super special and that you shouldn't have to pay 33 cents for a ounce and a half of sour cream, but I have to charge you. Straws, napkins and standard condiments are free, everything else (yes even gravy) costs money. When you get a small fry don't be surprised when the cashier looks at you funny when you ask for TEN ketchup packets. If we screwed up your food last time call the store don't tell me at the window expecting to get free food with your order.
You do not need twenty mild packets for you two tacos. try using ten hot ones or five Fire sauces. the savings will be passed onto you one day. Maybe...
4. EXTRA LARGE drive through orders
I know you may think drive throughs get faster service but it defeats the entire point when you order thirty dollars worth of food. Also think how mad you'd be if you just wanted a burger, fries and coke and had to wait ten minutes for one car's order to be filled. Especially late at night when there's typically a lack of prepped up food. If I had a nickel everytime I had to wait for fresh french fries to be fried I'd have twelve seventy five. However i don't get mad at the cashier and berate them for not having enough food to serve me immediately. yes it's an inconvience but I wanted french fries, so I will sit patiently and wait. As should you.
We won't bite you if you come inside you know. We're trained.
5. Extra Large Customers
Don't tell me our booths are too small, chairs are bendy, etc. They're fine for just about all of our customers, except you. take a hint. Also if you are having trouble with our handicapped stall you need more help than we can provide. Do not complain to me, I didn't make you too large to sit in a proper seat. Or maybe I did by serving you twice a day everyday for a year, then again you paid me to do it...
YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT.
6. Get Closer to the Damn Pick Up Window.
If I have to hang my body out the window to serve you your food there's a big problem. If you are afraid of hitting the building bend yr side mirrors in and get as close as you can. IF I could do it in my blazer there's no reason you can't do it in a sedan.
I am not Mr Fantastic.
7. Special Orders are SOMETIMES Okay
When it's okay: When you have a Food Allergy, it's simple to do (ie no tomato or pickle)
When it Isn't Okay: Asking me if we can cut your sandwich in half (ask for a knife you lazy bastard), Asking if we can put BBQ or Buffalo sauce on the fries for you, Wanting us to put four packets of hot sauce in your burrito for you, Asking for one third mango, one third pina colada, and one third strawberry in your fruit slush, and just the juice from the sliced strawberries. When you want something we simply don't have, like pulled pork, grilled cheese, or fish filets. Frying up chicken, fries, nachos specially to your tastes ie lighter fry, darker fry, less salt, no salt, etc.
You are not special you are the same decaying matter that has bought a burger this day. No special treatment.
8. Don't expect the impossible.
If you live half an hour or over away from the restaurant and you're getting KFC and Taco bell for everyone expect it to be cold or barely warm when you get there. Expect it to take a little time to get all your food prepared, we only have so many hands. Don't expect the chicken to be crispy, hot, tender, and juicy After your arduous journey. Don't expect the sour cream and lettuce and tomatoes to remain cold and crisp while sitting in a bag with ten other hot tacos. Finally don't expect me to care when you call and complain about it two hours later either.
We are not Genies, we are underpaid members of a corporate business that cares less about you than us.
9. Get over the Portioning
We as fast food service employees are supposed to be accurate consistent and regular, our food preparation revolves around this idea. We use premeasured ingredients or simple rough eyeing to ascertain whether or not there's enough cheese or sour cream. That's why the taco is 89 cents. It's also why Mcdonald's can serve up the same burger everywhere in the world for about a dollar twenty five (give or take). I dont like giving you twelve shreds of cheese anymore than you like recieving it, however I don't have a choice, usually that's how much cheese is supposed to go on the item. Once again not my choice, and I certainly didn't make it. It's a dollar for a soft taco with lettuce and some cheese, take it or shove it up your ass. You don't like it go to another restaurant. You get what you pay for.
Ever wonder why the cheese on your burger looks like plastic?
10. CHECK THE DAMN MENU BEFORE ASKING A DUMB QUESTION
I am not psychic, nor can I predict what you want, it's your job to figure that out.
I can ruin your order with three words to the food line, "Fuck this asshole". Taking longer than five minutes during a rush is a surefire way to get on someone's shit list. Being rude or on the phone is also a good way to ensure you won't get something you want, like extra sauce packets or a mint or your whole order. When we speak listen the hell up. If I tell you we don't have coke, don't ask me for sprite or Mr Pibb afterward. Usually most fast food places with combos come with drinks, so stop being surprised when I ask what you want for a drink with your Number three no sour cream.
Don't get mad at me if the store doesn't carry what you used to get all the time. I don't care how much you loved the border bowl or the grilled hot wings of KFC we don't carry that stuff anymore. It's like asking Mcdonalds for the McRib, atkin's diet salads, or McWrap. Popular demand said they sucked. If the last time you've been to a restaurant was over a year ago, check the menu before you order chances are the menu's changed.
With these helpful, gentle, and kind hints, you too can become a relieving customer at restaurants for your simplicity, specificity, and polite attitude. I've made people's days by being very polite and patient when they just got screamed at, and believe me once they know it's you after a while they'll make your food gladly and with a smile, this does not mean you're getting special treatment only that you will probably get what you want.. Please remember fast food is usually bad by definition, it's not being made by Anthony Bourdain, an Iron Chef, Alton Brown, or even Rachel Ray or Emril. It's a mass produced, chemically enhanced, test market certified dining experience. Get over yourself and eat your greasy hockey puck in a bun, I want my fries...
I just keep rewinding that tape, everynight that I can't sleep, thinking of your face, and your sweet voice, I finished a bottle with your image, burnt into my eyes, It's all a failure, everything I've tried, you are on my mind, the smell of your sweat, and the tears on your face, remind me, I can't tell anymore what shade of blue, this is. It's dark, that's all I know, my life is ending, one day at a time, I wish that you'd waste my life with me, waste our lives together, destroying my lungs and my voice, I scream, I guess this is life, I guess this is desire, I guess that this is what i get for always being there for you.
It wasn't me it was you, I didn't know what to do, I lost my mind I lost my sight, I didn't know what to think of that night, tears were falling and falling onto my cheeks and I knew I just wanted to hold you, but you can't stand to see me say I still love you, there's nothing more I'd like to do than to rip out my heart, and show it you, is it too red? is it too tender? I can't help but remember, what I did to kill you, I can't help but remember, that I fucking love you, All your pain, and mine too, stems from one decision, you finally wished, that I'd never met you.
I'm passing time by burning out my eyes, up so late the birds sing me to sleep, I'm wide awake and yawning, but nothing sinks in too deep, it's just copies of copies, floating in front of me, I just can't sleep, another drink, another cigarette, my nerves are shot and spastic, I didn't hear anything the tv said to me, and I still can't sleep, stretched out on my bed staring at this screen, wondering what does this all mean, ghosts speak, but I barely listen, they're just fog drifting in the air, what did I say, I mean what did you say, my eyes are heavy, my eyes are dripping, my mouth is dry, and no one can tell me why, I'm afraid of the dark, afraid to sleep at night, wrapped in sheets, sewing myself up tight, splitting hairs, watching an infomercial with a bleary stare, everythings all blurry but nothing seems fake, if my clock is wrong what difference does it make, because I'm not sure how much more of this I can take...
Previous PostsGnat Free's Bug Out Bag Pt 1/3, posted February 5th, 2013
Too Much Time to Think, posted March 23rd, 2011, 1 comment
Full 40s and Empty Park Benches, posted March 21st, 2011
Zine Clipping on my band!, posted March 11th, 2011, 1 comment
Your Slogan Here, posted February 24th, 2011
Two Poems, posted January 23rd, 2011
Shaving Cuts, posted January 12th, 2011
I have no life and must scream, posted January 12th, 2011, 1 comment
Holly Berries Taste Like Candy, posted December 24th, 2010
SSDD, posted December 24th, 2010, 1 comment
I'm not anti-sister, my sister is anti-me, posted December 18th, 2010
Passion Vs. Fashion, posted December 15th, 2010
No Boundaries, posted December 12th, 2010
The Left's right, the Right's left, posted December 12th, 2010
Where I'm From We Call Mirrors, "Leaks", posted November 19th, 2010
People Don't Keep Photographs of Things They Want To Forget, posted November 7th, 2010, 1 comment
Ten Tips for Happier Fast Food Service, posted October 26th, 2010
I would set myself on fire for you, posted October 21st, 2010
Resetting My Clock, posted October 20th, 2010
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